{"product_id":"part-time-pitching-machine-full-time-dad-t-shirt","title":"Part time pitching machine, Full time Dad T-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe \"Professional Baseball Multitasker\" Dad Tee\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLet’s look at your resume: You’ve got the arm of a pitching machine (though the velocity has dropped slightly since the 90s), the catching skills of an elite warm-up partner, and the critical eye of an umpire who \u003ci\u003edefinitely\u003c\/i\u003e knows that was a strike.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s a lot of titles for one guy. We put them all on a shirt so you don't have to keep explaining your credentials to the other parents in the bleachers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Job Description:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePart-Time Pitching Machine:\u003c\/b\u003e You’ve thrown 4,000 \"perfect\" strikes in the backyard today alone. Your shoulder is held together by hope and ibuprofen.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWarm-Up Guy:\u003c\/b\u003e You’re the only person who can catch a fly ball while simultaneously holding a Gatorade and checking the game clock.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eBaseball Critic:\u003c\/b\u003e You don't \"yell\" at the umpire; you provide \u003ci\u003eunsolicited professional feedback\u003c\/i\u003e from 60 feet away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFull-Time Dad:\u003c\/b\u003e The only role that pays in high-fives, grass-stained hugs, and the occasional \"thanks, Pops.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003e\u003cb\u003eWhy This is the Ultimate \"Dad Uniform\":\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eTournament-Tough Fabric:\u003c\/b\u003e Built to survive 12-hour Saturdays, spilled sunflower seeds, and the inevitable \"celebratory\" Gatorade splash.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe \"Incognito\" Style:\u003c\/b\u003e Clean enough to wear to the post-game pizza party, but bold enough to let the opposing team know who they’re dealing with.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eComfort Fit:\u003c\/b\u003e Provides a full range of motion for aggressive \"Safe!\" calls and dramatic \"He was out by a mile!\" arm-waving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eWarning:\u003c\/b\u003e Wearing this shirt may result in being asked to throw \"just ten more\" pitches in the batting cage. Proceed with caution (and an ice pack).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e88.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e91.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e101.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e111.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e122\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e132.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e142.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e152.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e162.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC) Sleeve Length (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e43.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e47\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e58.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e64.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e60\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e64\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC) Sleeve Length (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e15.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWash\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBleach\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eOnly non-chlorine\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eTumble Dry\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eLow\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDry Clean\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eIron Decorate\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDo not iron decorate\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eIron\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eIron or steam with medium heat\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Merch by Mary Ellen","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47515166802173,"sku":"b7194728-8d85-4a5d-aeef-8980177c830e","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47515166834941,"sku":"f97960fa-e257-4f47-96af-acbc436031cf","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47515166867709,"sku":"efab0b11-95b1-43a9-8491-95925acc7cfd","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47515166900477,"sku":"3378f759-346c-4199-9309-0d850ac22de6","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515166933245,"sku":"3f21bf00-5db0-4283-b5a6-849b34f5091d","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515166966013,"sku":"0bfde2b5-d167-4683-8e39-b9792982e30c","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":47515166998781,"sku":"8a13c966-2dfd-4c94-a9f0-31f8d5cfd64a","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":47515167031549,"sku":"896a2ae9-cb12-472b-9b7a-c71361592716","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":47515167064317,"sku":"8665e692-c341-47df-8fd4-aa23e92288f2","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":47515167097085,"sku":"b362a93c-0f6b-48c3-b89e-07badfcf4950","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":47515167129853,"sku":"60d0614a-4a73-4818-b8cb-0d6446bc3d67","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":47515167162621,"sku":"5f47f569-806e-4ca0-ba6f-4c7ed3763829","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515167195389,"sku":"87473eaa-f80a-4e60-a8a3-309f3b19b5fb","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515167228157,"sku":"8e33c5a7-5543-4d25-9f46-d589df9e7731","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ S","offer_id":47515167260925,"sku":"1ca47a75-398c-4c42-af43-3d67d41f885b","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ M","offer_id":47515167293693,"sku":"92aa8a9d-aadc-415a-b68f-1b819c7347b6","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ L","offer_id":47515167326461,"sku":"e15f89e8-6176-47a7-8641-4df8075d4568","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ XL","offer_id":47515167359229,"sku":"3dd3c50e-7c17-4687-8bee-66191fa77fe0","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515167391997,"sku":"a53585d0-7340-43f0-b386-662c97b5e39a","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515167424765,"sku":"65641e1f-23e4-4335-a474-e332e75d09a8","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":47515167457533,"sku":"dc7f0dcd-0a5a-4eea-b10e-0dd939034074","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sports Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":47515167490301,"sku":"d204b7d8-0718-42a6-97a7-bc1bcf9ff6bc","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ S","offer_id":47515167523069,"sku":"7a5b0315-d7d5-4933-bd90-7090bb2c8227","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ M","offer_id":47515167555837,"sku":"6d0ac757-44d4-45f8-a710-27a1fa79d8de","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ L","offer_id":47515167588605,"sku":"cb97b0b7-6d11-4700-9371-ad0c7e582426","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ XL","offer_id":47515167621373,"sku":"494b1331-b3f9-49ab-9bc8-9e6087aec24b","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515167654141,"sku":"97ca061e-9ea7-4f3a-bc5a-e4ad89cc9fb8","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515167686909,"sku":"1ab10823-b8c0-4bc8-b61f-de9d7dd8af2d","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":47515167719677,"sku":"f915b7ee-b670-447e-aa52-723a97e7e367","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":47515167752445,"sku":"90915ceb-fad1-4258-a1e2-3e4093b3187d","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ S","offer_id":47515167785213,"sku":"8efb8fbe-2aa4-43ac-8525-2bfaff537e2f","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ M","offer_id":47515167817981,"sku":"dec78497-2b74-4f63-9811-dd62cf01f7b4","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ L","offer_id":47515167850749,"sku":"8df586da-b45e-4dc5-a90d-1fa0ea31f9ba","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ XL","offer_id":47515167883517,"sku":"22cc639f-dc5d-4f86-ac22-7ec0a0f609db","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515167916285,"sku":"89c82bed-bc6f-4104-9b94-60ceaa7b7c08","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Cardinal \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515167949053,"sku":"b60ceecd-fb66-45c3-8727-109e18323ddb","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":47515167981821,"sku":"dd98d886-21e5-416f-a473-16ee4e6b26b9","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":47515168014589,"sku":"11c26c8a-34a3-4b0a-ba08-efbe67dcc1c6","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":47515168047357,"sku":"9d896a49-fc6d-4ca0-b203-a695963d2be7","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":47515168080125,"sku":"ddaab5df-d371-44df-bd0f-bc9eacbb7acc","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":47515168112893,"sku":"9f0f625d-a3e4-4112-8d45-fe1efb25746f","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":47515168145661,"sku":"5592d757-5227-4a4d-a7a8-482c3ce0876e","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":47515168178429,"sku":"cd998b00-8aa9-43df-9239-929914c3c1c6","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":47515168211197,"sku":"84ec2155-e761-4606-b3fd-2b8affc384c8","price":36.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0810\/5679\/2829\/files\/13b26614-2639-47c3-9098-5771052d520a.png?v=1778263793","url":"https:\/\/merchbymaryellen.com\/products\/part-time-pitching-machine-full-time-dad-t-shirt","provider":"Merch by Mary Ellen","version":"1.0","type":"link"}